A Happy Surprise!

Yesterday I hopped on Facebook and saw a new post on the Inner Mongolia adoption group that I belong to. A mom had ordered a little Chinese New Year party to be sent to her daughter at the orphanage and the pictures they sent back to her had other kids, so she posted them and asked if anyone saw their son or daughter in the photos. I immediately enlarged the photo and tried to see if one of them was our Baby Sister. After a few seconds I noticed a little one on the left that I thought was probably her. She had the same spikey hair, it was just longer than in the pictures we had. Since those pictures are 5 months old now it makes sense that her hair would be longer. And her top lip was sticking out a bit like hers might. Then I went really crazy and started comparing it to the other photos I have of her. Eyebrows look the same, nose looks the same, ear shape is exactly the same.

The mom who had posted them offered to send me the video of the party. Eeeeek! I refreshed my email 453 times in 2 minutes and then it popped up. The video was made for the little girl in the red shirt, so most of the video is focused on her. Kate is standing with her back to the camera for most of the scenes, but in the beginning she turns toward the camera a few times while her nanny feeds her cake. It's her! I was 99% sure it was her and then some friends sent me some still shots they had taken out of the video. There is no doubt that it's her!

This is such a wonderful surprise. China is basically shut down from now until February 7 or so because of Chinese New Year. So the update we requested when we were matched probably will not come until at least mid-February. We also purchased a little birthday party for her, but that won't happen until later in February either. I know 5 months isn't that long, but I was dying to see how she had changed since our last photos. The most amazing part of this whole thing is that these photos and video were taken just 2 days ago on January 29. We are beyond thrilled to have such new pictures of her, and video is a huge bonus even if it is just a snippet of her.

She is on the left, with the yellow shirt and striped pants. Gotta love that hair!

It made me happy to see that she was dressed warmly and had on socks. I also love how small and dainty she looks here.  :)

These are the still shots some other moms took out of the video. Kate is still on the left in the yellow. So fun to see two of my friends' daughters here as well!

Girl loves cake, just like her mama!

I am so thankful to the friend who shared these photos and the video. I wasn't expecting anything like this when I sat down at the computer, but these made my day! I can't wait to return the favor for some other moms when we get updates on Kate!
*video*

Hard to see her, but she's in the bottom left corner. I found myself trying to lean sideways so I could see around her nanny's head, ha!

A visit to the capital

Yesterday I went with Anna and most of the other third grade class to our state capital. One of her classmate's dad works there and he was able to set up a day long tour for us since they don't have school on Mondays. Anna was excited to ride (in a minivan!) with two of her little friends and me and one other mom. I was glad my friend was driving because I had no idea where we were going!

First stop was pizza with her school mates. I love watching her have fun with all of her little friends. You can spot her in almost all of these pictures because she insisted on wearing her big yellow flower hair clip from her ballet recital last year.

After pizza we headed over to the capital and had a meeting with several people. First her classmate's dad addressed the group and talked about his job, and then he had a lobbyist come in and explain what he did. A few of the parents had some tough questions for him, but he really did a good job with the kids. After he left the Attorney General of the State came in to talk to the kids. He was very friendly but I think 98% of his talk went right over the kids' heads. They may have been twirling their hair and twiddling their thumbs but they were completely quiet and well behaved the entire time. They even stumped him with a few questions like, "Why is it called a cabinet?".

After that we went on our tour of the capital building. It really is crazy gorgeous. So. Much. Marble. Several moms said they were ready to redecorate their homes in that style.  ;)

The capital took their own picture of all the kids from up on the balcony. Anna was in the back on the left so I couldn't see her in this one.

Our tour guide did a really good job. She gave a ton of information, but she kept it all very interesting and fun for the kids. It was clear that she works with children often!

Just off of the rotunda is this hallway of porcelain dolls made for every first lady of the state. The kids really enjoyed looking at these.

Second floor. Doesn't that look like a fake back drop behind her? So pretty!

And this is a bit blurry (like all of these phone photos) but you get the idea. Amazed when she told us they lifted 36 of those marble columns into place with no cranes, only pulleys. They weigh over 10 tons each.

I took a picture of this past Supreme Court judge just for Noah. He thinks muttonchops are hilarious, and this guy had some good ones!

In the former State Room. All of the kids loved her stories in here about assassination attempts, secret stairwells, and celebrity visitors.

The Supreme Court room. 

After the tour we were able to sit in on a session in the House. The kids were pretty excited but not sure what to expect. We lucked out and sat next to this woman, who was wonderful with the kids. Her husband is a representative and she comes and watches the session every single day. Every day! As each thing happened she explained to the kids what was going on and why. So nice!

They announced our school and let the kids stand up and be recognized by the people on the floor. They were beside themselves that they might be shown on public TV, ha. They also let all of them go down to the floor and have their photo taken with the two representative from our area.

It was a really great day and a neat opportunity for Anna to learn about local government while also having fun with friends. It was also a very long day and she was pretty exhausted when we got home, but not to tired for a quick dinner with mom on the way. I just love this age with her!

Packing Pro

I am already worried about how we will pack all we need for China without over packing, especially because you are fined if your bags are over a certain weight. Nathan and I are not, I repeat NOT, the kind of people who pack lightly. This will be a challenge for sure!

This morning someone posted this video on one of my adoption Facebook groups and I'm completely amazed. Saving this for future reference!

Happy!

This is how we're feeling today! The kids love this song, and I love how Ben shouts out the words on a 5 second delay every time. 

And just so I don't forget: This morning I dropped the older two off at school, stopping at Anna's cottage first and then driving down the drive to Noah's side. After we let Anna out I watched her walk away in her big furry hood and tiny little stick legs and I said to Noah, "Aww, we love Anna", and he replied, "Yeah, I love Anna, but I think now I love Baby Sister about an inch more". Ha! I told him he could love them both, but I understood that Baby Sister was new and exciting. Plus Baby Sister has never growled and jumped on him like a cheetah, so she may have a higher approval rating until Anna teachers her those skills.  ;)

It's a Girl!

We are thrilled beyond measure to introduce our sweet new daughter, Katherine Abigail Yi, our little Kate. We are completely in love with her and can not wait to bring her home. These first two pictures are from when she was 13 months old, March 2013. This was the first full sized picture I saw of her, and I knew immediately I was looking at our girl. This is where the tears began!

The rest of these photos are from an update they did in August 2013, when she was 18 months old. Look at that sweet face!

LOVE the stick up hair!!

Can you see that very slight smile?

Coloring. Love the little baby squat.  :)

We have requested an update with new photos and should hopefully have those in the next 3-4 weeks. I will be sure to share when those arrive! I wanted to record the details of the day we got the call, so in the next post I've written out everything that happened, the kids' reactions, and how we knew that we had found our daughter!

Referral Day

Thursday morning was not a good one. The kids were dragging their feet getting ready and I was feeling exceptionally impatient. At one point they were paying more attention to that crazy Furby toy than they were to me, so I may or may not have tossed him across the room. Not proud of that. They cried all the way to school and I cried all the way home for being such a rotten mom. Nathan had to rush to work for a meeting and I just stood in the kitchen with Ben feeling like a total emotional mess. I had a phone conference coming up that afternoon with Anna's teacher, so I decided not to go to Bible study and just stay home for that. We got some breakfast, got dressed, and were planning to run to the library before the scheduled call time.


I was browsing on the internet for a friend's birthday gift, when my cell phone rang. And it didn't just ring, it rang with the special, extra-urgent-sounding ring tone I had assigned to my social worker and adoption agency. After them telling me last week that it would be 6-9 months for a match I told myself that if they called it would only be to update us on our dossier, maybe to tell us it was done being translated. So when I heard that ring tone, I took 2 seconds and said to myself out loud, "Out of translation", then I answered. But to my happy surprise, she said she had a file on her desk and she wondered if we would like to see it. She gave us the birth date and the special need, and even though she was a bit older than our request, I said yes, please send it over. This was 6 days after she told me I would be waiting 6-9 more months for a match.


I immediately texted my best adoption friend Amy and asked her to pray. I couldn't get Nathan on the phone and I was freaking out already! After a full month with no calls, I was really hopeful about this one. So I did exactly what they tell you NOT to do - I opened the file and after very briefly browsing the written information I started scrolling like crazy past all of the pages written in Chinese, looking for the pictures! The first picture I saw was the tiny little head shot that they attach to the corner of the file, and my heart immediately softened. She was so cute and she looked a little sleepy and disheveled in the photo, like they had just woken her up and plopped her in front of the camera. Poor baby! Then I came to the larger color photos and after the first one I was in tears. I mean, straight into the ugly cry. Shaking and crying and so happy! She was beautiful! So sweet and small and just gorgeous. I kept scrolling, and kept crying, and then went up to read the file more thoroughly.


She was born on Valentines Day 2012 in Baotou, China, which is waaaaay up north in Inner Mongolia. Her only special need was a cleft lip on the left side, which had already been repaired when she was 4 months old. Her development looked fantastic. She rolled over and crawled and walked and talked at all of the right ages - in fact she walked 3-4 months sooner than all three of my current kids! Her file says she is quiet and a bit introverted, but is "gentle and soft if you know her". Multiple times in the description of her personality they say she is lovely. She "likes playing dolls, likes studying, can read books carefully" and "sometimes smiles in her sleep". The more I read the more I fell in love with her. It had probably only been about 10 minutes since my social worker sent us the file, and I still hadn't heard back from Nathan, but I called her anyway and told her to lock the file, meaning no other family could look at it while we were. I left her a voice mail and then sent an email saying the same thing. I did not want to lose this girl!


Nathan was finally able to step out of a meeting and call me back. I'm sure he knew something big was happening because I couldn't even get the words out without crying! He opened the file at work and we looked at it together over the phone. He felt just as happy and excited as I did, and we both felt like we were looking at our new daughter! He was able to come home several hours early that day, and we stared and stared at the pictures they sent. Right after I talked to him from work I emailed the file to our pediatrician and to her office manager to be sure she got it. She has been so kind to let us send her referrals and she reviews them quickly and thoroughly at no cost. She gave us her personal email after the last one, and it was so nice to have her quick assistance! She called about 3 hours later and said the file looked great to her. Her development looked right on par with what she would expect from a child already in a family, and though she is a bit small physically, it was not that concerning and probably just due to living in an orphanage. She also felt that her lip repair looked like it had been done really well, and that if anything, she may just want one cosmetic surgery as a teenager just to clean up the scar a bit.


Shortly after we locked the file our social worker emailed us an update that was done in August of 2013, when she was 18 months old. The information came from The University of Alabama Medical Missions Team and it included 24 new photos! This is one of the huge perks of having her live at an orphanage that has a partnership with our agency. All partnership orphanages receive extra funding, training for the nannies, and American doctors take several trip a year to evaluate the children's development and medical status. Knowing that she is living in a partnership is a huge answer to prayer. Seeing that the UAB medical team deemed her "healthy" is beyond our wildest dreams. Our pediatrician reviewed this file as well and felt that her growth looked consistent and good. After that confirmation, we called our social worker and officially accepted the file. We filled out our Letter of Intent (LOI) and that was mailed electronically to China the next morning, Friday. On Monday we received Pre-Approval (PA) which means China has officially given us the green light to proceed with the adoption, and our paperwork becomes a priority in processing.


Before this match, we didn't know where Baby Sister would be living, or what her medical need might be. We were prepared to take on some risky medical needs and unknowns. Of course we can't know for sure what Baby Sister will need medically or developmentally until she is home, and we still expect to have some developmental delays, but seeing her file and knowing she is considered healthy by American doctors is just amazing to us. Anna especially had been worried about what her need might be. She had asked me often over the last few months if we could take heart problems off of the list and just ask for a child with a birthmark. I told her didn't exactly work that way, and that whatever her need was we would help her get healthy. I repeatedly told her that God already knew who our girl was, and no matter what her need was, she would be just right for our family. But I don't think I realized how worried she really was. When I told her that the need was only her lip, and that it had already been fixed, she burst into happy tears of relief. It made me cry just seeing how relieved she was! Noah was thrilled too, squealing and bouncing up and down in his car seat. They were even more excited when I told them that instead of being a very young toddler like we had first planned, she would actually be about 2 and a half by the time she came home. They literally cheered at that news. Yay! An instant playmate!


So many things about her and her situation just lined up perfectly. I don't think I have talked about them all on here, but we had received 4 referral calls before this one. Four. I never expected to turn down even one, so it has been interesting to say the least. Two of them we knew right away that we weren't equipped to handle the need, so we never even saw their little faces, but the other two we did, and it was difficult to say no. But I never really felt they were right, and I knew another family would be a perfect fit for them (I was right - I am Facebook friends with their new mommies!). I wondered if I would ever have that magic lightning bolt moment where I just knew without a doubt that she was our child. Well breaking into tears when I saw her face was that moment! First I fell in love with her, then I saw that her birthday was on Valentines Day and I remembered that one year ago on Valentines Day was the day that our agency called to let us know we were officially accepted into the China adoption program. On her first birthday! She also lives in Baotou, which means she is living in the very same orphanage as my friend's son. You guys!! In all of China, our children are roomies! She is traveling to her son in late March/ early April and she will probably be able to love on our sweet girl and get new photos and videos of her. She can also tell us all about the travel, the hotels, the food, how Gotcha Day is done....such a blessing!


We shouldn't be surprised at how God worked this all so perfectly for us, but we are. Just blown away by how He gave us that instant love for her, that 100% certainty that we were looking at the face of our newest daughter. Thankful and amazed at how the dates lined up, how our friend's son is living with her now and will be able to grow up knowing her here as well. Thrilled to see that she is developing and growing and is healthy. So happy that we will now have guaranteed summer travel, which we have been praying for since day one. Anna will not have to miss school (but if we get to go in late May, we will!), and that once we get home we will be able to lay low and bond with Baby Sister and not have to rush around to carpool and various events. We also feel He made the timing so perfect on our matching day. Normally I would have been in Bible study at the time of that call, but that day I decided to stay home. If I had missed the call my social worker may have offered her to some other family. Two days after the call Nathan and I had already planned an overnight trip away for a work event. It was the perfect time for us to be able to slow down and reflect on what had happened, and to plan and dream for our future as her parents.


We have loved her since before we saw her face, but man, are we over the moon for her now. Nathan and I have both set her picture as our phone background and we keep opening our phones every 5 minutes and holding it up to each other and smiling. There she is! Our Baby Sister! We're printing her photos to have up on the shelf with our other kids, all four of them together. We know many people have been praying for us and for her birth mom and for her, and we are so grateful. God knew what was best for us long before we did and we feel so very blessed. We can't wait until we can hold her forever, which we now know will be no later than June of this year. We love you, sweet girl! We are coming!

School at home

Even though we don't home school full time, I can totally relate to all the articles I see floating around that talk about the January burnout. The holidays are over, and now there's just that looooong stretch until summer. Really even Spring will do because we can take our work outside or to a park. But right now it's just sort of grey everywhere, and I feel about as motivated as the kids do to sit down and hit the books. After a particularly challenging Friday I had a long talk with them (okay fine, it was really just one of them) about our attitudes and how we can make our work so much more pleasant if we keep a happy heart. Said child promised me they would do better from that day on.

We did some school work Sunday after church and the rest of it today, and I have to say, the promise was kept! I was sure to make a big deal out of it with ice cream with sprinkles. I've even let them stay in their pjs all day which doesn't happen much around here on weekdays. Now of course we won't get ice cream every time we do our work properly, but we definitely celebrated the start of something good. I think even they were amazed at how quickly they finished when they worked with focus and determination. Their focus even inspired me to reorganize and catch up on some school related projects that I had been letting slide for a few weeks.

So I'm feeling proud of my little students (and myself for staying calm!). I took this picture of them with their ice cream sundaes and posted it on Facebook. Hopefully it will remind me and my home schooling friends to remember the good days, even when we're stuck in a bad one. I'm so grateful for our at home days!

No news is....no news

So, this isn't really an update on the adoption. The update is, we have no new or exciting information. We haven't had a referral call since Dec 18 and we don't really expect another one any time soon. I talked with my social worker this week, and she told me that they get files from their partnership orphanages in large batches once a month or sometimes once every 2 months, but lately they seem to be mostly boys. Since there are very few girls, she thinks her original guess of us waiting 6-9 months for a match is still accurate. Of course I don't like that, but I'd rather she give us a long projection than to get our hopes up and have us be disappointed over and over.

That said, I still don't know anyone with my agency (and I know a lot of adoptive moms now!) who has had to wait more than 4 months for a match for a young girl. So I'm trying to walk that line between hopeful and realistic. My social worker is always going to tell me the agency standard wait time, even if she feels it could be sooner. So really her saying 6-9 months doesn't change what we've known all along. It could take that long, or it might not. No one knows, which is kind of maddening and kind of a relief, since there's nothing I can physically do to change that or speed it up. We know that God's timing will be perfect, we just have to wait and see when that is. But we do pray that it's sometime in 2014!

Since the call mid-December I had been sort of obsessing over checking my phone for a missed call, never letting my phone out of my sight, keeping it fully charged and in my hand at all times. But since I talked with my social worker I've been giving it a rest. She's probably not going to be calling me any time soon, and even if she does and I miss the call, I can just call her back. It's only been 2 days, but I'm already feeling more relaxed. Though I still won't hand it over to the kids for Angry Birds, I might let it stay in my purse for the night.  ;)

His fortune at Panda Express (where Anna wore her "most Chinese looking" shirt) - "Your path may be difficult, but it will be rewarding". Can I get an amen?

Although I wish we would get a call tomorrow, there are some benefits to waiting. Our dossier has now been in China for 1 month and 2 days (yes, I'm counting). As soon as it got there it started working it's way to translation, which normally takes between 1-2 months to complete. Hopefully it's already in process! After that it can go to the review stage. If those two steps are done before we are matched, that will speed up the process once we get our referral, which means less time to wait before we can go and get her. People say you wait either way. You wait for a referral, or you get a fast referral and then wait on your paperwork. I think for my sanity waiting on the referral might be better. Of course I'm dying to see her face, but seeing it and then having to wait an extra long time to go get her has to be worse! At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Another positive side to waiting is more time to do all we need to do to be ready for a fourth child! We have multiple rooms to paint and various other house projects that have been on our to do list for a while. We also need a larger vehicle (minivan here I come!). We had a larger gift certificate to spend so we got this cute little bed for Baby Sister. Even though she will probably be in a crib at first, we know a twin bed will be needed soon, so we went ahead and got it while we had that certificate. Planning her room is on the list! We also have our fundraising and our Both Hands project to plan, which I've been told can take 2 months or more to plan. Fellow adoptive moms have told me that project is a blessing not only financially, but it also keeps your mind off of the waiting!

Waiting on mom and dad to order Baby Sister's bed.

I've also been enjoying the time I have with Anna and Noah and Ben. Ben and I have started up mommy school again after the holiday break and he is loving it just as much as always. His new obsession is using scissors and cutting paper, and he goes so fast that he almost cuts my hands off every time (with blunt safety scissors of course!). Yesterday we were singing different alphabet songs and every few words he would smile a huge grin up at me. Love that boy! I just signed him up for Fall preschool today and I know he's going to love going. When we would first talk about it he would say he's never going to school but today he ran in that building with me and said he can't wait. Let's hope he keeps that attitude this Fall!

Anna is back into her American Heritage Girls and is gearing up for a blitz of badges. Her troop is planning to earn the Sacagawea award this year, and she has to do in 4 months what some girls have done in four years! But I'm confidant she can get there, and most of her badges will be earned with me at home. She's also still playing violin and has really progressed in the last few months. Her teacher assigned her hardest song yet over the Christmas break, and she memorized it. Yesterday at her lesson he was very impressed and let her move on to the next book, apparently filled with easier songs than the one she just learned. So she should be able to move faster through this book than she did the first one. Noah is gearing up for Spring soccer and the chess team at school - which I think is so him, and completely adorable. He still loves school and math, and Legos are always his favorite free time activity. He and Ben have started to play together so much. Love it.

We will be so excited once we are matched with Baby Sister, but until that time we are so thankful for all we have to focus on here and now!